I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
