Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize