So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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