Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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