Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
