Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
