ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
