This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
