I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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