You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
