I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
