Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
