The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
