in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
BRING THE BAGELS
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