Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
