i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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