I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize