god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
