I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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