Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
