Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
