You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
