We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
