If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Randomize
