y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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