Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
