I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
