This girl is more easily done than said...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
