I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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