wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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