Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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