I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
