Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
