Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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