Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
