i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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