I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
