do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
