we're making bets on your personal life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
