I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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