Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
