Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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