His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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