I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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