This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
