Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
