i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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