I didn't shave. On purpose
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
