4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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