marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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