My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
