I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
