remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
