I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
