he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
