Tell her she can't have a vagina
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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