Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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