ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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