i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
