just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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