Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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