Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
