I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Even my vagina gasped.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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