what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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