I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
