So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
